It was only a matter of time.

Hey look everyone!  A glorified fanfic has propelled erotic literature and BDSM into the mainstream!  Fifty Shades of Grey, E.L. James' fantasy of sexual awakening in the Pacific Northwest, has dominated (hehe) the NY Times best-seller list since its release last March. And, it's so ubiquitous that it's even getting people to listen to more classical music.  Some people find it sexy and thrilling, others find it mediocre and ridiculous.  Here are my impressions after reading the first 9 chapters:

1) Young woman meets sexually domineering man, who teaches her the ropes.  This is not exactly a new concept -- see The Story of O and Anne Rice's Sleeping Beauty trilogy (which by the way, are orders of magnitude kinkier).

2) I can see how women in their 30s can relate to Anastasia.  We all remember being 21, oversexed, insecure, and with a crush so fierce you couldn't believe this person was real.  By the way, for me, that person is and always will be: Rufus Wainwright.



3) Ridiculous?  Yes.  Christian Grey is a 27-year old billionaire, impossibly good-looking, inexplicably attracted to regular gal Anastasia, and apparently has no refractory period.  Anastasia was practically asexual when she met him, but had 3 non-clitoral orgasms on the first try, and no discomfort (beyond a "weird pinching sensation") despite being slammed into rather rudely!  I think not.  I understand that this is a fantasy, but I appreciate a little bit of biological realism.  Also, please stop referring to your genitals as "down there."  Thanks.

4) Anastasia says "oh my" a lot.  Whenever I read that, this is what I'm thinking of.






5) The writing is not as clumsy as I thought it would be, considering the book's origins as Twilight fan fiction.  Still, I don't think I'll continue reading it.  I'd rather read female characters who are experienced and self-assured; I prefer unrequited love to torrid, lustful affairs; and my idea of the epitome of hotness is not a 27-year old tycoon.  But that's just me!  To all those 30-something moms looking for a bit of spice, I say: more power to you!

Now, to finish Clash of Kings...

I am obsessed with this right now...

This is Meredith Monk, composer/filmmaker/performance artist and all-around awesome woman.  She's very modern, and yet her music sounds ancient and fundamental.  I have been very lucky to participate in her workshop on campus this week!  I learned a lot about improvisational dance forms (not my element, but I had fun doing it!) and performed some very interesting vocal compositions.  Meredith invented what she calls "extended vocal technique," in which the voice is used as an instrument, an instrument that is as flexible as a spine or a hand.  Glottal trills, overtones, and mixed meter, oh my!

I've also been working hard at building my modern music choir, which is a ton of work but very fulfilling for me.  We are slowly establishing ourselves and working towards a short program of some really interesting music.  We'll get there!

Third, Holy Week was super-exhausting.  My solo went great though!  :)

And, I'll be singing Mozart's Requiem this June!

Warning: choir geekery ahead.

So, ever since I sang a Hildegard von Bingen chant as a solo this summer, I've been the go-to girl for plainsong at St. Thomas. Last night, Choirmaster asked me to sing the Exsultet at next year's Easter Vigil mass. What!! This is a 15-minute unaccompanied solo, sung entirely in Latin and by candlelight, for the longest and most beautiful mass of the year. (How an unbaptized agnostic like myself ever got into this position continues to surprise me.) Because St. Thomas has never used a female singer before for the Exsultet, Choirmaster still needs to ask the higher-ups about whether to be sexist about this or not. One of the sopranos remarked, "But she's not a woman; she's a boy." It was a very strange comment, but I took it as a compliment -- boy voices are ever so lovely.

Consider the video below, which has been trending on my FB news feed the past few days. How, you may ask, does a charming video of two choir boys singing a Rossini duet get over 1.5 million views? Because the Internet LOVES cats.



Not satisfied with the simple enjoyment of a single video on this topic, I clicked on the related video below. I like this video because of the loving closeups of their angelic faces, and the extra dose of surrealism that kicks in at about 4:46. Also, they speak French.



By the way, the cute brunette boy grew up to be a sizzlin' baritone. Here is his website.

I am really into this right now.

...and by "this" I mean the oversexed, ambiguously ironic pop stylings of Har Mar Superstar. I fully expect my Friday night at Teddy's to resemble the music video below.

Rest in peace, Adzuki.

We adopted Adzuki from the shelter two years ago. He was just a baby then, a tiny hamster nestled in a cage with his two big brothers. We brought him home and named him after a dumpling.

In his youth, Adzuki's energy was boundless. He ran tirelessly and climbed any vertical surface he could get his paws on. Once I was surprised to find him 5+ feet from the floor -- he had climbed up a garment hanging in the closet. (He never thought about how to get down from such a height. We were always there to help him!) He'd zip around his cage and run in his wheel all night. John designed and built a "ham-o-meter," which used magnets and a microprocessor to measure how much distance Adzuki covered in one night. The answer: 6 miles!

Adzuki looked forward to playing with us every night. We'd often find him standing on top of his house, waiting to be let out, or doing a little "hamster dance" to show us how excited he was to see us. We placed tunnels all over our bedroom, then hid treats in them. Adzuki would scurry around excitedly, finding treats, racing up and down the tunnels, and shredding his cardboard toys.

Adzuki was robust and never sickly, but as old age set in, we noticed him becoming more frail. We decided to take him with us on vacation, where we played with him in the hotel room. It would be one of his last days of good health. One week later, today, he passed away from natural causes. He was a sweet boy and a special friend.

Remembering Andy.

John and I find it amusing that at the seedy bird shop where we procured our budgies, I chose Zoid (a mature, skeptical bird who loves to exercise his wings), and he chose Andy (a young and trusting bird with a big appetite).

Andy was always a little mischief-maker. The day we got him, he escaped from our makeshift carrier and flew around the pet store, causing a riot among the other caged birds! Even on this last day of his life, he shook the food dish while Zoid was trying to eat from it -- one of his favorite hobbies.

Andy was a clever bird who learned fast with clicker training. He knew how to step up and touch a target stick; we were working on him ringing a bell before he got sick.

Andy was a musical little fellow who enjoyed listening to my singing. The first time he mustered up the courage to eat from my hand, I was singing "Summertime." He would often come to the front of the cage when I sang to him. He also loved to "ring" the cage bars with his beak; sometimes John would play along with a guitar pick.

Sadly, Andy passed away last night from a chronic infection that would not clear despite our best efforts. He will be buried in a grotto behind St. Thomas. He was 2 years old.

You know you've been watching too much television when...

...you start having deep thoughts about He-Man and She-Ra.



For example, at first glance, She-Ra is an obvious rip-off of the He-Man formula. They both have a magical sword, a heroic animal companion, 3 friends who know their secret identity, and a humanoid villain with a white face and blue skin. Add a band of female sidekicks, a unicorn, and the word "princess" in the title and you've captured to the coveted "3-7 year old girls" demographic. Right?

But the more I watched, the more differences I started to notice:

* While He-Man is a standard action-adventure story set in a mythic, magical universe, She-Ra merges magic with technology, giving the show a sci-fi spin.

* Skeletor is a straightforward evil overlord, while Hordak is more like a chief engineer -- innovative, ambitious, and exceedingly vain.

Bitchin' integrated lasergun.

* I think He-Man/She-Ra as heroic Aryan twins is a nod to Wagner's Siegmund/Sieglinde in The Valkyrie. However, unlike Wagner's Norse legend, there's no twincest... in canon.

Domingo and Wray as a pair of operatic twins who get it on.

I've obviously been thinking about this a lot lately, but I still have some nagging questions:

* She-Ra is an acrobatic fighter with a really short skirt, yet we never see her underpants. How does she do this?

* Why hasn't anyone figured out that Adam == He-Man and Adora == She-Ra? He-Man looks exactly like Adam, except with a tan, a megaphone, and fewer clothes. And, no one ever wonders why Adora always disappears just as She-Ra shows up to save the day.

* I've always assumed that Bow is gay... because of his mustache. How can a mustache be homosexual? I don't know... but it is.


* Finally, how can Skeletor have a skull for a face, and yet be so muscular below the neck? Here's what he has to say about -that-...

Early New Year's Resolution.

Now that I've polished off the barrage of holiday cakes and cookies, and survived multiple liquor-filled visitations and celebrations, I have decided to make a major life change by cutting back on significantly on alcohol and sugar. (To be clear, I love alcohol and sugar! Totally not regretting indulging during the holidays!) But, I haven't felt quite right since my great European wine and chocolate binge, so I want to start working on healthier life habits asap.

I estimate that on any given week, I probably have 2-4 drinks and 4-5 sugary treats a week. In the last few weeks, social events and baking projects have abounded, and I've been routinely having 6-8 drinks and >10 treats a week! My goal is to bring these numbers down to 1-2 drinks and snacks per week. Wish me luck! See you all in Soberville!

This is why I love fandom.

Because somebody went to the effort to create an OkCupid profile for the BBC's Sherlock Holmes. "My entirely natural ebony tresses." NICE.

By the way, did you catch the first 3 episodes of "Sherlock"? It's a modern reinvention of the Sherlock universe, with the slash built right in! And this new Sherlock fellow has really nice lips. Just sayin'.

Giant summer update, part 4 (Lassen and Bristlecone).

On the way to Portland last August, John and I discovered Lassen Volcanic National Park. We only had time to take an hour-long drive through the park, but we liked it so much we decided to go camping there in September.

From our time in Hawaii, we thought we were experts on volcanic formations. And there were certainly some familiar features -- cinder cones, bubbling fumeroles, lava beds that stretched for miles. One thing we didn't expect were "painted dunes" -- colored ash ejected from the cinder cone which "painted" the landscape brilliant red and brown.

Our campsite was quiet and comfortable. Spigot, outhouse, and fire pit. What more do you need? (Okay, a shower would have been nice. I tried rinsing off in the lake. Frigid!) Hiking all day, then soup for dinner. I firmly believe that any dietary indulgence can be undone by sufficient amounts of camping.

We spent 2 days driving back, stopping overnight in Bishop for a much-appreciated shower and bed. Then, a quick detour to Ancient Bristlecone Pine Forest, where the trees are 4,000 years old! I was filled with awe and reverence as I walked among the "ancients." Again, we only had one spare hour to spend at Bristlecone, but we will definitely be back.