My gynecologist is a hoot.

First of all, she has baby fever like you wouldn't believe.

DR: Ooh, congratulations on your marriage! When are you going to start having babies?!?!?!?!??! After I deliver your baby, we'll know each other really well! Maybe when you turn 30 or so, you can have some babies!!

I swear she must have said "babies" about 10 times during my 5 minutes with her. That's 2 babies a minute!

You'll also note that I need A LOT of exclamation points to fully capture the way she talks.

Quote of the day (not coincidentally, the same person who got QotD last year):

DR: Just relax! Sing a song! La la la!

...and no, I did not visit her to inquire about labiaplasties! :P

Omg Rufus!! Judy!!! *dies*

Just saw Rufus Wainwright at the Hollywood Bowl, performing Judy Garland's legendary 1961 concert at Carnegie Hall. The setlist was delightful, Rufus was cute and bubbly as usual, AND he looks great in black stockings! LOVE!



Next shows: They Might Be Giants @ Avalon, Cirque Du Soleil's Corteo @ Orange County Performing Arts Center. By then, my new concert buddy will have arrived from Hawaii. Hooray!

The Consequences of Naughtiness.

I just attempted to IM my friend Greg, whom I had been dialoguing with about cosmetic surgery and the TV show Dr. 90210. This led me to visit the website of Dr. 90210 himself, and finally, gawk at before-and-after photos of various procedures. I know, I'm bad.

Anyway, the contents of the IM were:

"i looked at the labiaplastys."

(For those of you not in-the-know, labiaplasty is sometimes known as "external vaginaplasty" or "vaginal beautification." I won't go into the details, but you can use your imaginations.)

So, imagine my sense of shock and embarrassment when I discovered that the IM was sent, not to Greg, but to a guy I went on a date with 2 years ago and haven't contacted since. (Some of you may remember him. He was cute, rode a motorcycle, and knew a lot about DNA.)

AAAAHHHHHHHH!!!

If you would like to laugh at my pain, here is the entire transcript of the IM, including a sad attempt at ending the conversation with some dignity. Thankfully, the guy was away from his computer at the time.

me: i looked at the labiaplastys.
me: wahahaha
me: i clicked on the wrong name.
me: i'm sorry.
me: oh man...

Oh well. At least it wasn't my boss...

UPDATE: The guy replies!

him: well, that's a great way to start a conversation, anyway... cheers
me: *sigh*
me: :)

Table Tale.

December 2003: Purchased foosball table as Christmas gift for Stephen.

December 2003 - February 2005: Foosball table provides a few hours of amusement and enjoyment.

February 2005: Relationship with Stephen ends; Stephen declines offer to keep table. Table is moved into my new apartment.

February 2005 - December 2005: Foosball table, although functional, gathers dust in dining room.

December 2005: Abandoned roach-infested apartment in favor of new, shiny apartment. Foosball table is moved once again, only to have one leg ripped off in moving process.

December 2005 - September 2007: Three-legged table is relegated to vertical existence; functions as hat rack.

Today: Foosball table is given away to lucky craigslist user. I'M FREEEEEEEE!

By the way, craigslist is friggin' efficient. In 9 hours, I received 92 offers to haul my table away. Thank you, craigslist!

The Joys of Moving.

Hi! I've been spending the last few days packing. Moving is stressful, but I love it. Stuff upon stuff is coming out of my closets, revealing itself from under the bed, and even from inside the oven. I've been sorting through my things, deciding which ones will be taken into my marital abode, and which will be donated to my favorite thrift store (in case I change my mind, I'll know where to find them. :P) It feels great to get rid of stuff!!

I heard a great story on the radio today. This guy is my new hero:

Chris McNaught

In an effort to simplify, he inventoried each of his possessions, then cut back by 50%!

Check out the story at thestory.org under September 14th. Bonus: gorgeous pics from Antarctica in the second half of the program. I wanna go there!

P.S. -- I registered for the GRE today. After one year of procrastination! Woohoo grad school!

So much for that!

As a result of daily hiking and swimming during my recent Hawaii vacation, I was shocked to discover that I had transformed into The Tan and Sexy One for a couple of days. But it only takes a few malasadas (Portugese donuts) to make it all go away! So much for that! (Note to self: go dancing or join gym. Update to note to self: do both.) By the way, volcanoes are cool!

Anyhoo, I'm back in California for a while. (Just a brief visit in October, then I'm travel-free for the rest of the year!) I'll be using this time to study for the GRE, move out of my apartment, complete my name and address change, in addition to fixing all the little things that go wrong while I'm away for 6 weeks at a time.

For example, why are car parts timed exactly to break down right when the warranty expires? I had to go to the Toyota dealership today to replace my battery, which had a 3-year warranty. I purchased my car in February of 2004.

Not dead!

Hi peoples! Don't worry about me -- I'm busy frolicking on the beach, getting tan and working out. I'll catch up with you soon! *mwah*